Mom was not doing as well. More comatose-like. But, this is a GOOD thing because this means the pain and suffering for her is almost over. It truly is a blessing.
During this experience, I have thought about all those who have lost loved ones (whether by old age, battling cancer, serious illness, by accident, etc.) and I can't help but wonder what others must feel at the passing of a loved one. This is the first experience I have encountered in my life, and I wonder how I may have reacted differently had it been an accident--such as a car accident--that would have taken the life of both my parents. Something sudden and unexpected.
I like to think that I would be strong enough and had the faith to believe that the Lord still loved me. That He does have a plan and that there was a reason I would be going through something as tragic as that.
It didn't happen to me... But, sadly enough, it has happened to others.
My heart reaches out to those of you who have gone through this process before. My heart aches even more so for those of you who have gone through this process not knowing what lies beyond this life. If it hadn't been for the Gospel, I don't know how Dad and I would have made it through this all in one piece. Whenever we are struggling, if we can sit down and talk about Gospel things--which is woven into our very lives everyday--both of us do better. We're more at peace, more able to conquer another day and come out okay.
Two scriptures I came across the other night while studying:
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
[John 14:27]
"...Be strong and of good courage: be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."
[Joshua 1:9]
And last night, I came across this scripture in 3rd Nephi that really struck home for me.
"O thou afflicted tossed with tempest, and not comforted! Behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires."
[3 Nephi 22:11]
To me, this scripture stood out (it's Isaiah and we all know how hard he is to understand). I began thinking more about it and this is what I discovered:
During difficult trials, we sometimes feel as though the Lord has abandoned us, left us to walk this journey alone. But instead, He is always by our side, helping us along, yet trusting us to use the agency He has blessed us with to make our own choices. By doing this, He enables us to grow and build a steadfast/immovable testimony because the trial was/is so difficult. Thus, our foundations--which we have built to sustain us through life--will become as sapphires: precious, solid, and strong.
I am so grateful I was blessed to come back to the Gospel when I did. Had I stayed inactive, I would not be where I am at today. I certainly would not be blessed to endure this trial with the family as well as I have. I'm grateful for that opportunity I took in Spring of 2009 to re-integrate back into the Single's Ward (only months before the dreaded August 2009). I am super grateful for the wonderful people who have entered my life as a result of becoming active again. My Single's Ward, as well as the Home Ward, have been a tremendous blessing in my life; all the calls, drop-bys, meals, and care and concern that have been shown unto us have really meant a lot!! Not to mention my loving co-workers who are so willing and able to sacrifice and take time out of their busy schedules to help Dad and I with this time. I am grateful to all my friends who have shown their love, care, and concern through many acts of service and supportive notes of encouragement!
And of course, my wonderful extended family!! I am so happy to live so close to all my relatives (cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc). Only two relatives on both sides (one on each side) live outside the valley! It's an incredible blessing to have so many living so close and willing and able to be there for us at any time of day!! I love them soooooooo much!! What blessing that is!! I have grown closer to my relatives over these last few months, more so than I would have any other way I'm sure. My heart and eyes have been opened to their true personalities and their love. Such an incredible thing to be a part of!
You are all so wonderful!!
And my heart is full of gratitude!!
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