It's Early...

It's 7:30 and I'm wide awake.  I first stirred around 6:50, but I just didn't want to get up (the cool breeze from the window and feeling warm under the covers prohibited me from having any motivation to move).

Last night wasn't the greatest night of my life (as I was hoping for).

Didn't get a chance to meet my Instructor's wife (he had eight kids around him, all clamoring for his attention and I didn't feel I could/should interrupt).  I'm amazed at how he could focus his attention on one child and then another as though flipping through the channels on TV.  It was rather impressive!  But his wife was not nearby.

The other "bad" decision I made was assuming I would find my friends at the party once I arrived.

That did not happen.

And wandering around alone was not appealing in the least and it made me feel a bit low (I'll admit).  I did run into a couple people (acquaintances), but nothing more.

So, next time there's a big party like that (after all, it's not like going to a Ward party where you recognize most people and can start a conversation with them), I will be going with a group of friends, because clearly, I couldn't find them last night.

I left the party early, and drove.

Driving helps me a lot of times work through my thoughts, and since I had a lot at that moment, I drove up to the State Border and back.  I love that drive.  It's not the most scenic, but it's just open highway and I get to go 60 mph... which I was in need to do.  Just drive.

By the time I arrived home, my mood hadn't improved much.  It did a little (thanks to blasting Simple Plan and singing my guts out--that normally helps!), but I still went to bed in emotional disarray.

Now, this morning, I'm headed down South for my cousin's Baby Shower!  In ways, I think it'll be good to get out of the house and be with family... In other ways, I'd rather stay home and work outside pulling weeds (or hit the gym... do something physical, perhaps that would also help).

Then again, who knows!  When I get home today it may still be early and I might just hit the gym this afternoon!!  We'll just have to see how the trip goes.

Oh!  And then, this only added to my "saddened" mood, I had one of those freaky moments this morning where I considered the random possibility that Dad wouldn't wake up--he'd had some kind of heart attack during the night (after all, yesterday was extremely stressful for him).  Granted, I KNOW this couldn't be a real possibility, but it's a legit fear.  So that didn't help my mood much.  He's still in bed (despite going to bed at 9 PM) and unconscious.  I'm sure he's just sleeping, but there's that little voice in the back of my head taunting me... and oh how I wish it would stop.

Well, off to be with family!!  Let's see if that can brighten my mood, at least to some degree!

So, to summarize:

• At the next party, going with a group of friends = more fun.
• Being active physically (like at a gym) is important and I need to do it more often (especially now that I won't be working as much).
• Dad will be just fine if I have faith, and I shouldn't let thoughts like that bother me.
• I'm going to go and have a good time with family today!!