Today was an interesting day.
First of all, I have missed the last two weeks of church due to different types of illnesses going around at work. So today is special (in and of itself) because I was able to go to church. But that is not the only reason.
During one of our meetings, I had one of those "zoning out" experiences; not the kind of experience where you are bored so your mind daydreams. No, this was more of my mind wandering as I was thinking about a friend and worrying about him.
Now, I'm sure you have seen friends or family "fall off the path" in life (whether you are a Latter-Day Saint or not, I am sure you've experienced something like this). Well we were talking about this in church, and the teacher commented about how sad it is that those who fall away and don't return for a while, feel as though they can never come back or don't belong. This got me to thinking...
Yes, it is very sad that people feel this way. It breaks my heart, actually. However, there is hope. People can come back. And they can feel welcomed and as though they belong, if they let Jesus Christ help them.
I'm going to share something with you. A secret I haven't told many (especially those I have met more recently).
I fell away from the church back in high school. I went "off the path" and was inactive for close to two years before I finally started trying to correct my mistakes and get back to the light. For a while after I started coming to church again, I felt as though I didn't belong and that everyone was judging me. However, I have since learned that this was a false assumption, because most were actually happy to see me (and were truly not judging). As the years have progressed, so have the people. There are now only a few--which I can name on one hand--who are still in my church ward who went to my high school and witnessed my downfall. And with all time, people change and move forward.
Coming back to the light has been a long, hard journey... but so very, very worth it. Worth all the tears that were shed, all the pain that I felt, and especially all the awkward social moments... It was all worth it. I cannot describe to you how grateful I am that I let Christ's Atonement work through me and change me into the person I am today. I would not be this person if not for Him.
I am living proof of Christ's Atonement, and that it is real and that it does work.
My life turned around a full 180 degrees from where it was when I was 17/18. And I am so grateful to Him for it.
If I can use Christ's Atonement to change from who I was to who I am now, so can you! And don't think that you don't "deserve" it, because He has already suffered for you. He has already paid the ultimate price for your sins. So whether you choose to partake of it or not, He has still felt the pain and paid the price. He is simply waiting for you, with His arms open, to come back to Him. That is all He wants. That is all He is asking for.
And if I can turn my life around, so can you!
I know that because I chose to come back to Him, my life has been blessed in more ways than I can even begin to imagine! And by remaining faithful, He will bless my life even more. I know that the reason my social life has exploded this year is because of Him and the blessing He bestowed upon me for remaining faithful this last Spring with the passing of my mother. I have no doubt in my mind that this is the case. Had I not remained righteous (and drifted from the path), I would not know the people I do today.
And I am so very grateful for the people I do know (and especially those I have met since the Spring). They are true inspirations to me. I can never thank them enough for what they have done and how they have enriched and strengthened my life.
But most of all, I could never thank my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for the love which they have for me. I know I certainly do not deserve their unconditional love, but I am sure grateful for it. It means the world for me, and nothing in the world can take that faith from me. (As long as I remain on the right path as I go through life, that is.)
And you also can feel that love.
The Atonement is also much more than "white out" in our book of life (whether the mistakes were big or small). I have come to understand that the Atonement is also a protective barrier against the pains in this world. It shields and buffers us from the emotional pain we can be exposed to in this life. A good example of this is when my mother was in the process of passing away. People would tell my dad and I how we were "dealing with this so well" or "you look really good considering everything." But, what those people were witnessing was not some strength that came from within us... it was Christ's Atonement working to build us up and keep us going. His Atonement is what helped us through the funeral planning process and the grieving. I have no doubt the Atonement helped buffer my dad and I from the reality shock of what was happening. And the Atonement can do the same for you in your life, whatever your challenges may be that you are facing (because I know you are facing some incredibly difficult challenges in your life).
I invite you to come unto Christ, come into His loving embrace, and let Him help you. For He is the God of Miracles and can literally help you change your life.
I love, love, LOVE this post, my dear. I really do. I think that's something that's so hard to realize when you've fallen off the path is that when you come back, people really are glad to see you there. I remember when I was falling away from the church... I thought people were judging me all the time, but in reality, I was judging myself. I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin with where I was... that I beat myself, and I assumed that everyone could see me in my "spotted garment". But all they could see was the beautiful potential for Christ to help me become unspotted.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this. I think it's beautiful and I feel honored to read it. :)