Trouble

Light does not always erase the shadows we carry...

I came across this song on YouTube today and within the first minute of the video, I knew it was going to be amazing... and almost nostalgic for me.  This song (and video) perfectly describe my Junior to Senior years of High School.  The shots in this video remind me so much of things he used to do (even picking fights and being cocky, but not necessarily rude/mean).  When I first saw him in the hallway laughing with his friends, I "knew he was trouble" but didn't seem to care.  Like Taylor states, "I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen."  And by "this" I mean cheating on me with another girl and leaving me in the dust.

As I look back, it wasn't necessarily a happy or joyful time in my life, but I can't describe the rush that came from being with him (he was my first love, after all).  He was everything I thought I wanted, showing me a different side of life that I had never seen, opening my eyes to the world...

"Crazy thing is, I don't know if I'm ever going to feel that way again...

...But I don't know if I should."

And I have never felt the same way towards anyone else since that experience.  It was such a "high" that nothing since then has ever compared...

The way of life we experienced together was like a drug.  And he was toxic to me, poisoning the deepest parts of my soul...

"And the saddest fear comes creeping in...
That you never loved me...
Or her...
Or anyone...
Or anything..."

For years I have struggled to climb out of the abyss he left me in.  I finally reached the top and could see the light once more...

But light does not always erase the shadows we carry...

Until we learn to face the sun and take a step forward.

Words cannot adequately describe the feelings I have gone through watching this video, nor the perfectionism of how it mirrored my life (aside from the crazy partying going on).  The lyrics speak truth to me on a different level... a level only David Hodges has ever been able to reach.

Many of the people I have met in the last 5 years do not know this "past life" of mine.  Many would never even guess at it.  I think that's a good thing!  It goes to show how much I have changed and turned my life around!  (FYI: No I was not doing drugs.  I thought I should clarify because I knew you were thinking this.)  But there was really no need for that kind of stuff when the guy you were with made you high on life.  Even now, the memories of that time are literally only flashes; glimpses of moments, creating a collage of an experience.  Many of those moments had such powerful emotions tied to them that they have left a deep scar on my heart.  The pain has gone away but the scar remains, growing smaller and smaller every year.

Eventually it will disappear...

Until then, I will try to forget it despite the pricks I feel from time to time.

"I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him...

...It was losing me."

Your first love will always remain with you, (as do the majority of your previous significant relationships).  What brings me hope is knowing that eventually a man will come into my life who will create those same "high" feelings as my ex did, only with in a positive way.  He will be soooo much more than my first boyfriend ever was or ever could be...

And I will be with this amazing new man for the rest of my life. <3

"I Knew You Were Trouble"

Taylor Swift

I think...

I think when it's all over it just comes back in flashes, you know?

It's like a kaleidoscope of memories...

But it just all comes back.

...But he never does.

I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen.

It's not really anything he said...

Or anything he did...

It was the feeling that came along with it.

And...

Crazy thing is, I don't know if I'm ever going to feel that way again...

...But I don't know if I should.

I knew his world moved too fast,

And burned too bright.

But I just thought...

How can the devil be pulling you towards someone who looks...

So much like an angel when he smiles at you?

Maybe he knew that...

When he saw me...

I guess I just lost my balance.

I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him...

...It was losing me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago

I was in your sights, you got me alone

You found me

You found me

You found me

I guess you didn't care, and I guess I liked that

And when I fell hard, you took a step back

Without me

Without me

Without me

And he's long gone when he's next to me

And I realize the blame is on me

'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now

[You] Flew me to places I've never been

'Til you put me down, oh

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now

[You] Flew me to places I've never been

Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground

Oh, oh

Trouble, trouble, trouble

Oh, oh

Trouble, trouble, trouble

No apologies, he'll never see you cry

Pretends he doesn't know, that he's the reason why

You're drowning

You're drowning

You're drowning

Now I heard you moved on from whispers on the street

A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be

And now I see

Now I see

Now I see

He was long gone when he met me

And I realize the joke is on me, hey

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now

[You] Flew me to places I've never been

'Til you put me down, oh

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now

[You] Flew me to places I've never been

Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground

Oh, oh

Trouble, trouble, trouble

Oh, oh

Trouble, trouble, trouble

And the saddest fear comes creeping in...

That you never loved me...

Or her...

Or anyone...

Or anything...

Yeah!

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now

[You] Flew me to places I've never been

'Til you put me down, oh

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now

[You] Flew me to places I've never been

Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground

Oh, oh

Trouble, trouble, trouble

Oh, oh

Trouble, trouble, trouble

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

Trouble, trouble, trouble

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

Trouble, trouble, trouble

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I don't know if you know who you are until you lose who you are...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

To this day, I have yet to run into Cody, though we still live in the same valley.  I keep thinking we are going to cross paths one day.

I hope when that time comes, I will be able to look him in the eyes and tell him I am happy and doing well.

A small part of me also hopes he can respond the same...

Geek Wall

My bedroom walls are completely bare... and I'm tired of it.

A few weeks ago I saw the following video.  It is by my favorite vlogger (yes, I have started watching them), and her screen name is RandomPanser (Tradechat).  She's hilarious, geeky, and of course random.  Anyway, this video is showing the decorating of the wall in her video room (it's now the background for all her videos now).  What I specifically like about this video (and haven't seen in other design videos) is how she overlapped so many images and placed them at angles, like a collage.

I concluded a few nights ago that I wanted to attempt this on my bare walls.  So, I decided I wanted...

A geek wall!!

All my geekiness will be revealed with pictures and posters of favorite TV shows, movies, bands, lyrics, etc. Call me crazy, but I'm tired of bare walls and I really want to do something fun for a change.  I used to have posters hung up years ago, but when I took them down, I never replaced them.  Part of me has been hesitant because I'm not quite sure what to use to stick the posters up.  I've used the blue (or white) sticky-tack that comes in small squares which you can shape like silly putty and didn't like the result.  When I finally took my posters down, the walls were not marked, but the back of my posters had a greasy spot on them (and they were even the high quality laminated posters!).  So, I'm thinking of trying the command poster strips.  I don't think they would leave a greasy mark on the poster, would they?

Let me know if you have any ideas!  Thanks!

PS:  Some of the posters on my wall will include the following, not to mention lyrics will be spread throughout:

Didn't know I was a MLP fan, did you? =P  It's amazing, by the way...

This is just a sampling, of course!  YAY for geekiness!  ^-^

So Many Things To Do

The semester is now over and this is what I was expecting the break to feel like:

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But this is reality:

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I have so much I want to get done before school starts up again in January,
and I'm worried I will blink and the break will be over and I will have
accomplished none of my goals to kick back and relax!
(Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn't it?)

I want to read several books, watch all 5 seasons of Big Bang Theory,

and simply enjoy spending time with friends and family!  

So I thought I would start off by reading some good books...

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Not to mention the gift wrapping for Christmas still needs to be done...

Oh, how I wish my To-Do list looked like the following:

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Wouldn't that be great?  Talk about a wonderful vacation!

But I also realize that if I were to do absolutely nothing, I would be bored out of my mind and not functional.  I need to be doing things in order to save what little sanity I have left.  Take yesterday, for example.  I read all morning and became restless, so I went out and started watching Season 2 of Big Bang Theory.  After a while, the restlessness set in again.  In response, the crazy side of my brain proposed, "Why don't you start cleaning the office!  You could sort through papers while watching the show!"  Of course any normal person wouldn't go in and tackle an office of paper stacks and litter them around the living room floor right before Christmas.  We don't even have our tree up yet!  (And we may just pull a Grandma move and go for the tiny tree on a table with presents underneath.)  The reason for this is because since we had a leak in our roof, we had to move furniture.  In the process, we decided to simply replace all the old furniture with new (this being our family Christmas present), but we also want our carpets cleaned prior to the delivery of the new furniture.  And we don't want to put the tree up if the carpets need cleaning...

Therefore, our living room is completely empty...

Aside from the mess I made yesterday... which I will finish with tomorrow!

You see, even on vacation I still have to find something to do to occupy my time.  I can't simply lay around and leisurely read the piles of books that have stacked up.  Oh goodness no!  I must spend my precious free-time cleaning... Why?  Because I might just go insane if I don't.

And let's face it, when school starts up again, who has time for big cleaning projects? =P

**I do apologize for the immense amount of criticism and sarcasm in this post.  I blame it on the book I am currently reading and my creativity breaking out of the closet...

Season of Solitude

I came across this quote tonight and it touched me in a profound way.

"If God is preparing you to make an impact on this world for His kingdom, chances are He will take you through a 

season of solitude. 

This is a season when you learn that you can't lean upon anyone but Him for your confidence and when you 

gain the strength to stand alone even 

when no one else stands with you." 

~ Leslie Ludy

When God Writes Your Love Story, p. 157 

"Demons" Lyrics

I purchased a new album on Amazon recently and I finally got around to listening to it last night.  There were two songs that particularly spoke to me.  This album is Imagine Dragon's "Night Visions" album.  I have heard of this band before (a couple friends are into them), so I bought the album after listening to songs on YouTube.

One of the things I love about listening to new music is it causes my creative juices to start flowing... especially in relation to my stories.

The moment Track 4 started playing, I could feel it was going to be good.  When the beginning of the chorus started, one of my characters poked his head out and said, "Hey!  This is my song!!!"  My listening immediately changed as I realized the words were describing feelings he has.

"I want to hide the truth.  I want to shelter you.  But the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide."

This character is my beloved Zak from Destroyer Series.  All my characters are near and dear to my heart, but Zak and Red hold very special places in my heart as Red has been with me for years, and Zak's personality is simply contagious to me.  So, without further ado, here is the amazing song that has been added to my Destroyer Series Playlist.  I especially loved the bridge verse!  It's funny, the art booklet that came with the CD has the lyrics to the song, but for some reason the bridge verse wasn't printed (typo!).  But it's my favorite verse in the entire song!!  Anyway, enjoy!!

"Demons"

Imagine Dragons

When the days are cold

And the cards all fold

And the saints we see

Are all made of gold

When your dreams all fail

And the ones we hail

Are the worst of all

And the blood's run stale

I want to hide the truth

I want to shelter you

But with the beast inside

There's nowhere we can hide

No matter what we breed

We still are made of greed

This is my kingdom come

This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat

Look into my eyes

It's where my demons hide

It's where my demons hide

Don't get too close

It's dark inside

It's where my demons hide

It's where my demons hide

When the curtain's call

Is the last of all

When the lights fade out

All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave

And your masquerade

Will come calling out

At the mess you made

Don't want to let you down

But I am hell bound

Though this is all for you

Don't want to hide the truth

No matter what we breed

We still are made of greed

This is my kingdom come

This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat

Look into my eyes

It's where my demons hide

It's where my demons hide

Don't get too close

It's dark inside

It's where my demons hide

It's where my demons hide

They say it's what you make

I say it's up to fate

It's woven in my soul

I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright

I want to save that light

I can't escape this now

Unless you show me how

When you feel my heat

Look into my eyes

It's where my demons hide

It's where my demons hide

Don't get too close

It's dark inside

It's where my demons hide

It's where my demons hide

I also just realized that this song is PERFECT for Damon of Vampire Diaries.  If I was still editing videos, I would make one just for him. <3

Back to the Basics

This year, there haven't been too many movies that had me super excited.  The Amazing Spider-man looked lame from the trailers (I had assumed it to be a retelling of the first Spider-man, but was pleasantly surprised with how good it was).  Madagascar 3 created some excitement, but I was also rather nervous because I didn't want to see the producers end an epic series badly (and they didn't!).  Dark Knight Rises didn't necessarily do it for me either, because Dark Knight was so... well dark!  I was worried this third one would be the same (again, pleasantly surprised).  I am somewhat excited for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and Les Miserables, however I am upset that they are splitting The Hobbit into THREE movies!  And where I haven't read the books for either of these, I don't know exactly what to expect in the movie... thus I am not as excited.

But today marks the release date of a movie I was excited to see.  Honestly, I haven't been this excited since Harry Potter 7-2 was released last year.

This movie is...

Of course, Rise of the Guardians.

Prior to today, the more I saw about this movie (trailers, TV spots, etc.) the more excited I became.  For starters, the concept of childhood myths being not only real, but also being guardians of the children was unique to me.  Then the villain entered... Pitch...

You may call him the Boogieman, Pitch Black, or the King of Nightmares.  When I first saw him I knew he was going to be a good villain!

So, the overall story theme I received from the trailers was Pitch has entered the playing field and is spreading fear across all the children of the world.  And if the children do not believe in the Guardians, they will disappear and lose their powers.  So, the Guardians must "rise" together and help protect the children of the world from this new darkness.

Well, I had the great opportunity to finally see this movie today (opening day).  I was very excited, but there was a small part of me that worried I had built it up too much, and that I would be disappointed with the final result.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Despite all my excitement... it still blew me away.

Now, I know there are some out there who say, "This is your simple story of good vs evil."  Well yes, but you know what?  In a time when movies are so popular and everyone is trying to create elaborate and complex stories (*cough*Inception*cough*), it's rather refreshing to go back to the basics.  This was one of the main draws for me.  I'm tired of the complex storylines, the mind boggling twists and turns in plots and character development... just give me a good movie that has excellent character growth and development, with twists and turns that actually make sense but are not predictable, with little to no profanity/inappropriate material, and then I will be happy.

Tonight, I am pleased to announce that I. Am. Happy.

I found this movie to be unique (as I said earlier) and very entertaining.  The writers did a good job to keep the story flowing by adding bits of humor through-out (the elves are hilarious as is the rivalry between Bunny and Jack).  I felt the characters all experienced growth throughout the movie, and especially our main character: Jack Frost.  One of those changes actually happened within myself.  Now, how can this be, right?  I'm not in the movie?  Well, good writing creates changes in the viewer, and there's a point where Pitch "bears his soul" to Jack... and I sympathized.  (Side Note: This is key to developing a good villain in any story.)  It helped me realize what he has been through and it's no wonder he is the way he his and why he does what he does (again, this is key to developing a good villain).  Therefore, Pitch's character was beautifully crafted and well rounded in the end, as were the other main characters.  The only one I didn't see a great change in was Sandy, and if you see the movie you'll understand why.  But I loved him just the way he was anyway!  He's perfect!  (One of my favorites, can't you tell?)

Switching gears, there are many morals and messages portrayed through-out the movie (not just at the end as it is with most).  Things like who we are now is not dependent on who we were before, and that each of us has a purpose while in this life, we just need to find it.  It was one of those movies that simply leaves you feeling uplifted and full of hope and light.  I love these kinds of feel-good movies.  I believe that's what all movies should do: Uplift us and take us away from reality.  I live in reality, why would I want to see a movie that portrays the same thing?  Give me two hours away from this life to imagine something greater, something better, and I feel much happier with my reality when I return to it.

Also, Alexandre Desplat produced the music for this movie.  For those who do not know, he is the brilliant mind behind several of the amazing Harry Potter Soundtracks!  The music was simply stunning and I think I know what to ask for when Christmas rolls around!  Here's a sampling of the type of music on the album:

Speaking of little facts, did you know that this movie is based off of a book series?  I had no clue!!  It is entitled, "The Guardians of Childhood" by William Joyce and includes picture books as well as young reader books.  I actually started reading the "Nicolas St. North" book online and it talks about how Pitch awoke and how Jack Frost came to be (the movie never exactly explains how Pitch came back).  The series looks rather interesting.

I simply love this movie.  I think it was well written with a good story and great characters, and excellent music is a bonus!

Now go and have your spirits uplifted and enjoy a good story of good vs. evil!

The Guardians Have Risen!!

"Angelfall" Book Review

Title: Angelfall
Author: Susan Ee
Series: Penryn and The End of Days
Number in Series: #1
Copyright: 2012; Feral Dream LLC; Amazon Children's Publishing.
Genre: YA / Supernatural / Paranormal / Suspense / Apocalyptic / Angels
Pages: 284
ISBN: 9780761463276
My Rating: 4.5 / 5
Content Rating: PG-13 / 15+ (for some alcohol/drug use, violence, some swearing, blood and gore, scary images, and suspense)


This book was impossible to put down.

It pulled me in and refused to let me go until the very end... even now I still feel it clinging to me.

Within the first paragraphs, I was already in love with the author's writing style.  Not only do we have a heroine who has a strong powerful voice, but she also has purpose to that voice and why she is the way she is.  The author did an excellent job of portraying that in a very narrative way.

This story takes place after the Apocalypse has occurred.  Only, in this war, angels were not there to protect the humans of the world... they were the destroyers of it.  The angels attacked, wiping out nearly all civilization.  The few who survive now hide from the terror in the skies.  Even the deadliest gang members retreat to their safe houses when the night falls.

The day belongs to the refugees and raid gangs.  But at night, they all clear out, leaving the streets deserted by dusk.  There's a strong fear of the supernatural now.  Both mortal predators and prey seem to agree on listening to their primal fears and hiding until dawn.  Even the worst of the new street gangs leave the night to whatever creatures may roam the darkness in this new world.

p.3

Enter Penryn, with her schizophrenic mother and paralyzed little sister.  They are attempting to escape in order to find more supplies and hopefully a safer place to rest their head.  It's night and the streets are quiet.  As they move through the destroyed city in Northern California, it's only a matter of time before an attack happens.

It's been six weeks since angels of the apocalypse descended to demolish the modern world.  Street gangs rule the day while fear and superstition rule the night.  When warrior angels fly away with a helpless little girl, her seventeen-year-old sister, Penryn, will do anything to get her back.

Anything, including making a deal with an enemy angel.

Raffe is a warrior who lies broken and wingless on the street.  After eons of fight his own battles, he finds himself being rescued from a desperate situation by a half-starved teenage girl.

Traveling through a dark and twisted Northern California, they have only each other to rely on for survival.  Together, they journey toward the angels' stronghold in San Francisco where Penryn will risk everything to rescue her sister, and Raffe will put himself at the mercy of his greatest enemies for the chance to be made whole again.

--Book synopsis

One thing I absolutely love about this book is that it is not a romance.  Yes, romance tales are wonderful, but this author has a way of telling a main story where each character has their own agenda, and falling in love is not one of them.

I felt Ee did a good job at keeping the action engaging, even during the "slower" times in the book, like when Raffe and Penryn are getting to know one another.  Not only does this keep the pace of the book going strong (continually drawing you in) but when the intense moments arrived, you knew they arrived.  These dramatic moments were pronounce.

By having this story told in first-person, it kept us in the action.  I know several YA books written in first-person, but I haven't read one quite as thrilling as this.  Ee does a masterful job at telling a story from this perspective.

Finally, the author's amazing ability for twists and turns throughout the story is mind boggling.  There were things I did not see coming (especially towards the end during the climax).  Ee has an amazing imagination and really takes a spin on angels in a way I haven't seen done before.  Not only is this a war against the humans, but it's a war between angels--a political war nonetheless--all because the Messenger was killed:

Like most people, my first introduction to angels was through the looping footage of the Archangel Gabriel being shot.  I can't help but wonder if the angels would have been less hostile if we hadn't immediately killed their leader.  At least, they think he was killed.  No one knows for sure because the body wasn't recovered, or so they said.  The legion of winged men floating behind him dispersed with the panicked crowd, quickly disappearing into the smoky sky.  I wonder if Raffe was part of that legion.

p.101

This book is rather intense and has more blood/violence than I normally care for (hence the 15+ rating).  However I do admire Ee's creativity with angel mythology and how angels run things.  The characters felt "alive" and well-rounded for me, more so than other YA books I have read.  Penryn is an awesome female lead character with an attitude, and Raffe isn't your normal "tall, dark, handsome, bad-boy" sort either.  Yes, he does have good looks (he's an angel after all), but there's a lot more to his character than what we read in this book.  There's a wall he hides behind and we don't get a glimpse into his character until the very end.  Even then, it's not much to go on, but I love how Ee is developing him.

Also, one of my favorite characters is Josiah.  He's great, though I'm still on the fence as to which side he's fighting for... You'll know understand when you read about him.  He definitely sticks out in a crowd, and his eyes are to die for. ^-^

Overall this book is well written, very engaging, full of twists and turns, with major battles being fought (both external as well as internal).

The way in which the book ends leaves me thirsty for more.

As Penryn herself asks:

Who will guard against the guardians?

Full of Thorns But I Won't Give Up

"Even if love is full of thorns,
I'd still embrace it,
For I know that in between those thorns
There is a ROSE
That's worth all the pain."
~ Unknown

"I Won't Give Up"

Jason Mraz 

[Official Lyric Video]

Coincidences

I don't believe in coincidences.  I honestly believe that everything we experience (especially major trials) are for a reason and that we can learn something from everything we go through.

However, trials are not the reason for this specific post.

For the past little while, my life has had a lot of these "coincidences."  Namely in my social life.  There have been too many instances when I have thought of a friend but failed to act, only to have them act instead and contact me.  Or there are times when the Spirit will whisper to me to do something and I decide to act, only to realize that it was exactly what the person needed at that time.  More often than not, it was what I needed as well.

The Lord is very aware of us.  In the words of Albert Einstein: "Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous."

I found the article below and fell in love with it.  It speaks the truth to me about coincidences.  I am re-posting it here in order to have the article even if the original link disappears someday.  (See citation after the article):

When God Winks at You
By: Squire Rushnell
 
You’ve had another one of those days. Everything seems uncertain.

You think: Wouldn’t it be great to wake up one morning and have everything be certain? Certain in love? Certain about your job? Certain about your future?

Who could you talk to about this? Bigger question, who’d listen?

Tentatively your eyes drift skyward.

Hello? Are you there, God?

Then your mind quickly assesses the immensity of your request. You want God to listen to you, right now. How ridiculous. There are six billion people on this planet. What if they’re all calling God at the same time?

You slump. Deeper into the dumps.

Then--something happens.

A little silly thing.

Someone you just thought about for the first time in years phones out of the blue--a silly little coincidence, so silly you shrug it off. Or a prayer you didn’t really expect to be answered--was! Immediately, your left brain repeats something you once heard: There’s a mathematical explanation for everything.

“But…” you say, “mayyyyybe... it’s not just coincidence or chance!”

Maybe God is communicating with you.

Yes directly to you!

You shake your head.

Naw. Couldn’t be.

But…what if God is communicating with you--in a nonverbal way--making a little miracle happen, right in front of you? After all, God doesn’t speak to people in a human voice. He’s God…He’d do something no one else could do, just to show you it’s Him!

If so, that would mean that He is listening! Right?

He has heard you!

What if through this odd little coincidence, or answered prayer, He’s sending you--you… out of all of those billions of people--a direct personal message of reassurance? To stop worrying? To keep the faith? That everything will be all right?

Every time you receive what some call a coincidence or an answered prayer, it’s a direct and personal message of reassurance from God to you--what I call a godwink.

It’s similar to when you were a kid at the dining room table. You looked up and saw someone you loved looking back. Mom or Dad or Granddad. They gave you a little wink.

You had a nice feeling from that small silent communication.

What did it mean? Probably--“Hey kid…I’m thinking about you right this moment. I’m proud of you. Everything is going to be all right.”

That’s what a godwink is.

Every so-called coincidence or answered prayer is God’s way of giving you His small, silent, communication. A little wink saying, “Hey kid! I’m thinking of you…right now!”

It’s a clear message of reassurance-that not matter how uncertain your life seems at the moment, He will help move you toward certainty.

And it’s a sign that you’re never alone. In fact, you’re always on His GPS--a global positioning system I like to call God’s Positioning System...

[Source: http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/2006/10/When-God-Winks-At-You.aspx]

There are no coincidences in this life.  Keep that in mind the next time a prayer seems to have been answered, or that cute boy/girl finally talks to you right when you feel you are having a difficult time with loneliness.  Just remember, the Lord knows us individually and He will provide for us individually, often through the service of others.

Let Him Lead Quotes

In reference to my last post about letting the Lord lead, I came across two different quotes from books I am currently reading that directly apply to the principle in that post:

"God doesn't care nearly as much about where you have been 

as He does about where you are and, with His help,
where you are willing to go."

- Jeffrey R. Holland, Created For Greater Things (2011), p. 12

"My life is but a weaving between my God and me.

I do not choose the colors; He worketh steadily.

Ofttimes He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride

Forget He sees the upper and I the underside.

Not till the loom is silent, and shuttles cease to fly,

Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why

The dark threads are as needful in the skillful Weaver's hand

As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned."

- "The Weaver" in Book of Poetry, ed. Al Bryant.
As quoted by John Bytheway in What I Wish I'd Known When I was Single (1999), p. 132

Let Him Lead

Everything in life has a reason.

You lose a loved one... for a reason.

You meet a new friend... for a reason.

You even fall in love (and possibly have your heart broken)... for a reason.

There is so much more to this life than I think we comprehend.  Sometimes we can't see where the path will end.  What is our destination?  Are we going to make it there in one piece?  What lessons will we learn along the way?

I believe there is a lesson in everything we go through.  We can learn something from everything if we will but simply open our hearts and listen.

So much has happened to me in the last few years... It's amazing the difference just a year--a month--can make.  I look back on my life and marvel at the path it has taken.  I can see the Lord's hand interwoven throughout so much of it that I cannot adequately put into words my feelings.

There are no coincidences in this life.  We go through experiences (whether good or bad) for a reason.

Walking along the path of life can be difficult and challenging at times.  We may even stumble and lose our way for a while.  But if we exercise our faith, and just believe, we can come back to the path.

I try not to think of all the challenges and decisions I must face in the next ten years.  The different possibilities overwhelm me and I begin to doubt (especially about marriage and childbearing and then raising those children who will eventually go out into the world).

Then, I take a deep breath...

...and tell myself that everything will be alright.

As long as I remain faithful, and diligently strive to stay close to the Lord, He will guide me and walk beside me, leading me along this path of life.  He will strengthen during times of struggle.  He will comfort in time of sorrow.  But most of all, He will always be only a prayer away.

I know that with Him by my side, I will be able to accomplish many things I couldn't do otherwise.  He will be my rock, my foundation.

As much as I love having control over my life, I realize I must let Him gently guide me along and I will eventually reach my desired destination.

I realize there is a reason my mother passed away last year.  I continue to learn lessons from not only the experience, but also the type of life she lived.

I realize that many friends have come into my life for a reason, and many have left footprints on my heart that continue to linger...

I realize that the relationships I have had (both good and bad) happened for a reason.  I have learned so many things from those relationships, especially about myself.

I know that more of my loved ones will eventually go the way of all the Earth, but the Lord will always strengthen me.

I know more friends will come and go along the way, but the Lord will always be the friend who stays.

I know the relationships I have in the future will all prepare me for the one everlasting relationship I long to have, but the Lord will always be there to comfort me during times of heartache.

So let the Lord lead.  Let Him be the one you lean on.  Let Him be the one you go to for advice and counsel.

For He will give you everything.

Let Him lead.  You never know the amazing journey He will take you on.

[Image Source]

It's A Magical World

As I sit here, waiting for my caffeine to take effect so I stop procrastinating chores, I thought it would be fun to create a blog dedicated to something that is very near and dear to my heart.

The night before last, I finished a great comic.  Some of you might even know it.

January 2, 1986

That's right, Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson.

I received the Complete Collection for Christmas (or rather, I saw it on the Amazon "Lightning Deal" and purchased it, at which point my father paid me back so I would wrap it and put it under the Christmas tree).  I finally finished reading all 3 books in the collection... a total of 1,454 beautifully colored pages of the highest quality.  Simply gorgeous...

Since I have now finished reading this amazing collection, I yearn for more.  I do plan to purchase all the Calvin and Hobbes books at some point, and I happened to find another one yesterday!  I went on a treasure hunt, and found the first Calvin and Hobbes book for cheaper in the store than on Amazon.  Of course I immediately purchased it.  And the best part?

August 16, 2012

It's dedicated to me!!!

Apparently it was meant to be. ^-^

[Okay, it's really not really dedicated to me... But she has the same name!!]

Well, since I've been on somewhat of a Calvin and Hobbes high because I read it every night before bed (it makes the perfect bedtime story) I would occasionally mention something to my father.  He would look at me and ask, "Why do you find Calvin and Hobbes to appealing?"

That's a very good question.  To anyone it appears to be a hilarious comic about the adventures of a six-year-old boy and his stuffed tiger that only comes alive for him (see comic above).

But there is so much more to Calvin and Hobbes than what meets the eye.  Take the following strip for example:

October 26, 1988

One of the greatest things I loved about Bill Watterson's writing, is how he is able to teach life principles through metaphors.  This one is a bit more obvious, but in other strips it's more subtle.  Watterson believed that by analyzing nature, we can then resolve issues in our own life.  He sought to inform us readers about his perceptions of the world in which we live by using these lovable characters.

I also absolutely love Calvin's humor.  He's the little, selfish, opinionated voice that exists somewhere inside us all, no matter how dormant it may be.

Not to mention the awesomeness of his snow sculptures!  I plan to make one of these someday!

January 21, 1995

 So, in the end, why have I enjoyed reading this amazing adventure?

Calvin and Hobbes is a comic about asking the bigger questions in life.  It's about presenting simple solutions that help us survive in this crazy world.  It's about realizing there are bigger things in the world than just you or me.  It's about releasing our inner child and giving in to our dreams as we strive to make them a reality.

But most of all...

It made me laugh.

Calvin and Hobbes makes me feel happy, safe, and warm.  No matter how my day is going, Calvin and Hobbes will always be there to increase my mood.  There are many instances where I was having a bad day and I would read Calvin and Hobbes before going to bed, only to have it make my whole world bright again.  It helps me feel at peace with the world.

Am I sad that Bill Watterson stopped the strip in 1995?  Yes.  But I understand why he did.  I also understand why he didn't want his characters exploited to the marketing world (hence the reason there's hardly any Calvin and Hobbes merchandise).  Watterson had a great opinion about materialism (hence the reason Calvin only focused on the material aspect of Christmas) and Watterson didn't want to add to the merchandising message his characters would send to the world if he allowed "product" to be made.

However, I do wish I could find a legitimate stuffed Hobbes... ^-^

This journey has been an amazing adventure.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  As Calvin himself said in the very last strip ever written:

"It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy... Let's go exploring!"

And so it is.

"Your Heart Will Lead You Home"

A Calvin and Hobbes Tribute

By Swing456 on YouTube

Waking Up To A New Day

Today was kind of a big day for me.  I underwent a procedure using anesthesia for the first time in my life.  Being extremely nervous about what could happen, I turned on some David Hodges to help calm my nerves (his music has that affect on me).  Listening only to one song, I had a specific line running through my head the entire time I was going to and prepping for the procedure before the anesthesia took effect: "The light after the storm shows that hope was never gone."

I knew I would get through this minor procedure just fine and I knew I would have hope.

Well, long story short they found some interesting things out.  I'm rather nervous to hear the test results (in about a week's time), but I also realize that it may answer many of the questions I have had for years.  No matter what it turns out to be (whether positive or negative) I hang on to the hope that "tunnels end in light."

So, after sleeping all day (due to the aftereffects of anesthesia), the song line I had running through my head this morning returned.  I chose to listen to one of my favorite versions of the song, which just happens to be a live version of David Hodges singing with a girl named Tamar.  Feeling the lyrics wash over me, I decided to go on a little adventure and see what other songs this Tamar girl has written.

And I fell in love with her songs.

I came across this one and it offered me strength and a peace of mind.  The song sings of moving on and that everyday can be a new day despite the challenges of today.  We have the chance to try a little harder, be a little better, and live life a little fuller.  It's about change despite the challenges that we face.  And as Tamar herself put it:

"New Day, my first single, is a song about overcoming struggle and being in negative situations, but finding the positive lessons through those not-so-wonderful situations that we kind of run into in life."

I fell in love with this song not just because of what I went through today, but because it sings about healing and being able to live a different life.  It has special meaning for me since I have not always lived the life I currently am.  For a while in high school I ran around with a pretty rough crowd, but I have since let go of my past and embraced the future, changing for the better along the way.  "New Day" brings back those feelings I experienced 5 years ago: Change is possible no matter the circumstances.  This song also helps me realize that the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is very real; for without Him, change would not be possible and a "new day" would never come.

"New Day"

Tamar Kaprelian

Before the light, I found the dark

Before tonight, I fell apart
Frozen up, I've realized that something's gotta change

It took a crash to understand
Time kept slipping through my hands
I never used to know the sun will shine after the rain

Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way I was before
Say hello, say hello to a new way
I was lost, but I found what I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day
To a new day

I was sleeping in a twisted dream
Dying just to make believe
A pretty situation was far from where I was

But I'm not up for giving up
Lying down and out of luck
My mistakes are in the open and now I'm finally coming clean

Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way I was before
Say hello, say hello to a new way
I was lost, but I found what I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day

'Cause everything, everything ends at the start
I'm healing and feeling all of my scars

Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way I was before
Say hello, say hello to a new way
I was lost, but I found what I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day
To a new day
To a new day

I was lost, but I found what I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day