Closing Old Doors

This last year there has been a lot of change in my life.

1. I lost my best friend.
2. My mother passed away.
3. I threw out pieces of my old life.
4. And now, I may just possibly be giving up a hobby I have loved for years.

Now, as readers of this blog, you may know that my last post was a "letter" to FaceBook (not actually sent, mind you).  I had made a video and went to post it on FaceBook to show my friends, but was not able to due to copyright.  FaceBook actually gave me a warning they would possibly delete my account if more copyrighted material was uploaded.  (You can read that warning in its entirety here.)

Well, I've done a lot of thinking over the last 24 hours and I've come to a conclusion.

Video editing takes a LOT of time, especially when you're striving to rip your own footage because you don't feel it's good to download illegal torrent files--not to mention you don't have the software to do such a thing anyway! ^-^  But, a while ago when I was considering upgrading my computer so I could use new software, something monumental dawned on me...


I can't picture myself editing when I get married and become a mom.

It hit me hard and I actually didn't edit for a few months.  This original idea was planted about 15 months ago.

Over the last few months, as I've come to appreciate some of the more important aspects to this mortal life, I've come to realize how much time I spend editing videos and ripping footage.  It blows my mind.  But then I reason with myself and say, "Well, it's my escape from reality!  We all need a break at some point!"  But the hours upon hours I've spent just doesn't justify itself anymore.  I have more important things I want to do, like:

• Being more socially active in my Ward, especially going to activities
• Doing more with friends
• Working on chores and major projects at home
• Strengthening my spirituality and testimony in the Gospel
• Studying harder in school

Those are just a few of the activities I've come up with that I could spend my time on instead of editing videos.

Last night was simply the straw that broke the camel's back.

Now, some brief history:  I have been thoroughly interested in video editing since 2001.  I have edited videos since 2003.  While dating in high school, I did not edit a SINGLE video.  A whole year, and not one video was produced... Yet I didn't miss it.  I only turned back to it when my life took a turn for the better and I found more time on my hands, along with inspiration for videos.  Switching to a Mac at the end of 2008 was difficult because I had to start learning a new program all over again, and one that was FAR less effective and flexible than the program I HAD been using.

But I made iMovie work for me, despite the hair-pulling events.

I canceled my YouTube as a form of closing out part of my old life.  I re-opened a NEW account, but it has not been active because I couldn't upload any videos to it, due to copyright claims.  Well, I discovered I could upload to FaceBook, and this worked better because only my friends would see my work.  I loved being able to share this work.

But now, my priorities have changed.  I'll be starting school again in Spring, and I still have lots of large chores I want to do around the house (like organizational/major cleaning projects).

And with my new calling in the Ward, I would like to spend more time preparing to teach my lessons than I currently am.

But the largest thing for me, is the fact that I REALLY want to be more social.  I'm such a homebody that I would easily choose staying home over going out on almost any occasion.  And after the years I've had of being hurt by those I love, I've built up walls and I'm suspicious of those I meet and talk to socially.  I'm slowly trying to tear those walls down, but something like that is never easy.

Losing those you love is so difficult.  When my mom passed away, it was hard but it was also a great blessing because I have watched her suffer so much over the last few years with pain.  Like they say, "Death is not the end, only the beginning."  I truly believe that.  There's an entire other WORLD on that side of the veil, and I know my mom is being kept busy over there!

But losing friends is also hard.  I've watched as my friendships have dwindled and all but disappeared.  I have weak connections to my friends, but they're not strong enough for me to feel comfortable calling them up and saying, "Do you want to do something tonight?"  And I truly miss that.

This is where being active in the Single's Ward will help a great deal.  I'm hoping to build some friendships that I can lean on for support, especially during times of trials and difficulties.  Talking is my "love language" and it's how I feel the most connected to a person; how I best feel appreciated.  I haven't had many people to talk to over these last few months other than Dad.  This is mostly my own fault for the walls I've built up to keep people out.

But those walls are starting to crumble as I'm getting more desperate to reach out and have someone else reach back.

I think this is a good thing because it drives me to change.

And change is exactly what I need right now.

Which gets me back to the whole video editing thing (sorry, that was a long detailed detour).

I seriously am thinking of giving it up, or at least not editing nearly as much.  Now that there's no way to share my work, I'm not as driven to make videos.  Not to mention the time and the effort it takes to make the videos.  I just don't feel I have that much time and energy to dedicate to the hobby anymore because I have other--more important--areas I should be dedicating myself to.

Anyway, I came up with a quote which is my new motto for my situation right now (*inspired by a video I saw about two years ago).  I also feel it can be applied to any sort of change we're dealing with, whether it be a change of hobby, a different choice in school classes, a dissolving of friendships, or the loss of a loved one.  I hope this quote may give you strength during these difficult times.

"Closing old doors is hard,
But opening new ones doesn't have to be."
- Melissa Hansen 2011

Dear FaceBook

Dear FaceBook,

You are a wonderful social media networking site!  I love being able to log-on and update statuses while seeing what all my friends are up to.  I also enjoy being able to share the things I create with my fellow friends... namely my videos I work hours to create.

But alas, you have destroyed my dream, FaceBook!

My previous video I attempted to upload, you sent me this message:

We have removed your video entitled (no title) uploaded at 9:47pm August 24th, 2011. We did this because it appears to contain copyrighted material owned by a third party, such as a video clip or background audio. If you believe this material was removed by mistake, you may file a counter notice of alleged infringement by following the link below.

Please note that if you re-upload this video without filing a counter notice, or if you upload another video that infringes on the rights of a third party, we may remove the content. This could cause your access to the Facebook Video application, or your Facebook account itself, to be disabled.

WHY would you DO that to such a faithful follower?  I used to love you FaceBook, because you didn't appear as strict on copyright.  I could upload videos to share with friends on FaceBook that I could not upload on YouTube.  I loved you for this...

But now, my loyalty falters...

And I no longer have a reason to continue uploading to you, especially when I do not want my entire account deleted.

I will keep my FaceBook account, but only to maintain connection with my friends...

You have lost me as a loyal follower.

I no longer 'Like' you...

Farewell my old friend.

Sincerely,
MelissaH

Not Good...

In my last post I addressed some quality issues with my videos.  Well, like I said, I think I've worked them out to a quality I can handle...

HOWEVER....

(Don't you just love howevers?)  After hours of ripping footage and time importing videos into iMovie (oh, the horror)... I discovered the end of my clips cut off sooner than I placed the marker!!!  And here I cut the entire movie up into 14 great scenes...

One example, when Megamind and Minion are walking out of the prison, the warden hollars, "Good luck, fellas!" and Megamind replies, "We're gonna die!!"  Minion cheers as well only to shortly exclaim later, "Wait... what?"  It's one of my favorite lines and apparently MPEGStreamclip CUT THE CLIP SHORT!!!  And it's done it to EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER!!

So, I guess at some point in the future, I'll have to RE-encode the movie... but I think I'll make the chapters longer this time...

But oh, the effort...

*cries*

I'm beginning to think I'm cut out for this business...

Video Quality Settings = Frustration!

Ever since I started editing videos, I have been obsessed with quality.  It's been quite a pain, actually, considering nothing seems to appeal to me (at least not my OWN footage... other people can rip BEAUTIFUL footage and edit wonders!).

Here's my dilema:

First: I have using a MAC, so some programs are not even available on the Mac for high quality file compression/converting.

Second: I used iMovie to edit with (Final Cut doesn't like my G5, and the only version of Adobe Premiere I can get a hold of is CS3, and that IF I'm lucky... and even THAT doesn't work on my G5).

Third: Since I am using iMovie, the files that can be imported are limited, therefore, I must convert any video files I personally obtain into a MPEG-4.

Anyway, I've done a lot of searching on Google to try and find the BEST quality settings for the best file size.  Needless to say, it's been a wasted effort.  All the settings I have tried following tutorials lead me to nothing but disappointment.

Granted, I'm being EXTREMELY picky!!  But I have good reason to be:

One: I don't want to have to rip my footage AGAIN and reconvert it if I ever wanted better quality.

Two: When I use iMovie, I cannot adjust rendering settings (you choose basically "small", "medium", "Large", or "High Quality"--but the HQ requires an Intel Processor to render correctly, which I DON'T have, so when the file DOES render in HQ, it has no audio... that's a SLIGHT problem).  Anyway, the original imported footage MUST be good quality because iMovie really lowers the final output picture.

Three: I'm simply picky and want my videos to look good!!

So, today before work I played around with settings in MPEG Streamclip.  Granted, I still have no idea what some of the settings are, but I play around and discover them for myself!

After finding a result that started out looking well, I rendered the entire first half of the movie using the same settings... here are the results:

 Not looking too bad...

 Still looking pretty good... (and doesn't he have the cutest eyes?!! XD)

 Don't they look great as a couple! ^-^  (aka: Still looking alright)

 Okay in this one, notice the red table with the lamp on it... the chair looks a bit glitched...

 Oh... look at the kid standing behind Metroman with the ball in the air...
the ball looks pixelated around the edges...

 Then BAM!!!  
Look at her RED dress!!!  Are you kidding me????  *pulls hair out*

THIS is the original footage (VOB file) screen.

So clearly I'm LOSING quality when I convert to an MPEG-4... but I guess that's to be expected to a degree... but not THIS drastically!!!  And here it ran for about 2 hours... *sigh*

I do, however, like the color of the converted file better than the VOB file... why that is, I don't know.  But the glitchyness around the red dress I simply will NOT stand for, despite the rest of the scenes looking alright.  (It just seems to be the RED... which, this may cause a problem later on when I'm dealing with Titan footage, seeing as he has red in the suit... >.<)

Therefore, I've opted to simply go with 75% quality and do NOTHING with the interlacing, deinterlace, etc. feature.  I seem to get the best result with that.  Yes, I could do 100%, but I couldn't see a big enough difference between 75 and 100 to make up for the tripling of the file size...

Now, keep in mind, one of the reasons I'm SO picky about the footage is because iMovie will take a simple thing like the red dodge balls and make them look TERRIBLE!!!!  iMovie will make ANYTHING I import a lower quality...

IF ANY OF YOU KNOW OF GOOD SETTINGS THAT WOULD FIX THIS PROBLEM, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!!!!!!!!! 
(This includes not only MPEG Streamclip settings, but also iMovie '09 rendering settings!!)

I would be very grateful!!!

Random Band-Song-CD Cover Image Fun!

So, a friend of mine posted this on FaceBook a while back and I found it VERY enjoyable!!  It's a lot of fun and can be quite humorous!

Step #1:

Go to Wikipedia and select random on the left.
The FIRST article that comes up is your band name.


Step #2:

Go to quotationspage.com and hit random again (on the left side).
Take the LAST FEW WORDS of the FIRST quote that comes up which will be your album title.


Step #3:

Go to flickr and click on "explore the last seven days" [Top = "Explore" then Right = "Interesting Photos From the Last 7 Days".... Or you could simply click here.]
The THIRD picture is your album cover.


Step #4:

Use your favorite picture editing software to piece it all together!!!


Here are some of the examples I have done:

Anyway, it's a way fun thing to do on the internet if you're bored!  I've found it quite enjoyable and could spend hours doing this!!

Laziness & the Fair

I recently returned from a dog-sitting trip for my aunt.  She went out of town (back to the East Coast) and has two very large Golden Doodles which needed caring for.  Since I've tended for her before, obviously I was the first choice, and I wasn't about to complain!

It was a nice week and a half of laying around the house, playing video games (YAY Little Big Planet!) and watching movies.  I was able to do some cleaning (which helped take my mind off of things and stave off the boredom).

Arriving home yesterday, I had planned to crash and then today I would be productively doing chores and unpacking.  Ha!  That didn't happen.  I've wasted too many hours on the computer.  Last night I was up until 2 AM not even realizing it!!  And tonight... well, it's not quite midnight yet...

Either way, tomorrow will be a more productive day!  I need to DO something!  Not having much to do for two weeks really makes it difficult to get back into the rhythm of life.  Like today, I found myself easily bored--hence the reason I resorted to the computer to watch videos on YouTube.  Sure there are things that need to be done (like studying my lesson I need to teach in Church on Sunday, or the chores that need finishing), but I feel unmotivated to do them.  You know how when you're so inactive for so long that you lack any sort of drive to do anything?  Well, that's where I'm at.  That's why I need to hit the gym in the morning, or do something.  That will then give me the energy to come home and tackle some of my chores.

I would like to say, however, I have not spent all day on the computer.  Dad and I went over to our County Fair which is going on this weekend.  It's weird how it's never quite as fun as when you were a child.  The rides don't appear as "epic" or the colors and shops don't hold much appeal.  I did enjoy the 4-H items and the art displays!  We have some serious talent here!  I'm amazed at the talent children have in and about this world.  It's incredible!

I haven't been to the fair in 3 years.  And as we were wandering towards the animal shelters, I remember some of the reasons why.

First of all, the last two years have been really difficult on our family and therefore, we didn't have the time to even think about when the fair was, let alone actually attend it.

Second, in 2008 (the last time I would have gone) I went with some dear friends of mine and we had a blast!  However, those friendships have fallen apart and I rarely talk to "the guys" anymore, which makes me a bit sad.  Obviously, there's a series of events that occur when I walked into the fair tonight: I thought of my old friends, then I remember how each one simply fell apart/away, and then I recall the bad fight I had with one of them this last summer which caused our friendship to be nearly completely severed.  So, it's like a trail from good to awful.

On top of that, in 2005 I had been dating a boy and his family would raise rabbits that they would then attempt to sell at the fair.  He was there most of the day for the entire weekend.  I have distinct memories of going to the fair and seeing him and his mother by the barn doors with a small cage of rabbits on the floor.  Funny thing is, I haven't seen him since 2006.  But the thought of possibly running into him tonight sent ice into my stomach.  I know it's lame and I should simply grow up.  But the thoughts of seeing him again just give me chills.  Randomly, I ran into a picture of him on FaceBook a couple months ago... I nearly died when I saw his face.  Yes, he's changed and aged (more than he should have), but his face still remains the same... and my heart stopped.  It was like staring at the scariest person on the face of this Earth... and I had dated him.  *shiver*

I don't know why, after 5 years I can't control my emotions when it comes to the thoughts of him... or for any of my exes for that matter.  I have one friend who is an exception to that rule, but my first two boyfriends in particular are the ones I have the hardest time with.  (The one I spoke about above was my first boyfriend.)  Granted, the odds of me seeing either of those two guys is like 1 in 100,000.  No joke.  Cody, as far as I know, still lives in the valley (I assume).  Chris, on the other hand, is from 100 miles away and I doubt I'll ever see him again (despite his attempt to friend me on FaceBook--now that was a rough day).  It's weird, despite Cody living in this same valley, we have never once crossed paths... yet I've run into the girl he left me for several times.  Explain that!  In fact, the day she approached me (the first time I saw her since graduating and all the drama) she apologized to me about what she did nearly 3 years previous.  I remember standing in the store thinking it was all a dream and that I couldn't possibly be awake and talking to her.  But, it was indeed real.

Then, my dad ran into Cody in a store.  At first, he didn't recognize the boy.  But as soon as it hit, my dad was ready to kill him.  I suppose that was a good thing, I haven't really decided yet.  That was about a year ago.  But I have yet to see him.  The only thing I've seen of him was his profile picture on FaceBook--which was enough to scare me to death!

I've decided that if I ever do see him again, and he sees me, I'll simply act like an "old friend" and ask what he's up to in life (partly to be polite and partly because I'm a masochist and want to know).  Can you blame me?  The last I heard (3 years ago) was that he was living with a crazy girlfriend who threatened to kill him if he ever left her (and she meant it too!)... then again, I don't know if I could trust those words, looking back on it now... This only adds to the curiosity!

I'm sorry, looking me, rambling on about exes and memories... Oh boy... I really need to go to bed.  Perhaps I shall read some Harry Potter and the world will be a much brighter place!! ^-^

Movie List 2011

Recently there have not been many movies that have come out that appeal to me.  But the following--either currently out or will be coming out in the near future--look intriguing!