Laziness & the Fair

I recently returned from a dog-sitting trip for my aunt.  She went out of town (back to the East Coast) and has two very large Golden Doodles which needed caring for.  Since I've tended for her before, obviously I was the first choice, and I wasn't about to complain!

It was a nice week and a half of laying around the house, playing video games (YAY Little Big Planet!) and watching movies.  I was able to do some cleaning (which helped take my mind off of things and stave off the boredom).

Arriving home yesterday, I had planned to crash and then today I would be productively doing chores and unpacking.  Ha!  That didn't happen.  I've wasted too many hours on the computer.  Last night I was up until 2 AM not even realizing it!!  And tonight... well, it's not quite midnight yet...

Either way, tomorrow will be a more productive day!  I need to DO something!  Not having much to do for two weeks really makes it difficult to get back into the rhythm of life.  Like today, I found myself easily bored--hence the reason I resorted to the computer to watch videos on YouTube.  Sure there are things that need to be done (like studying my lesson I need to teach in Church on Sunday, or the chores that need finishing), but I feel unmotivated to do them.  You know how when you're so inactive for so long that you lack any sort of drive to do anything?  Well, that's where I'm at.  That's why I need to hit the gym in the morning, or do something.  That will then give me the energy to come home and tackle some of my chores.

I would like to say, however, I have not spent all day on the computer.  Dad and I went over to our County Fair which is going on this weekend.  It's weird how it's never quite as fun as when you were a child.  The rides don't appear as "epic" or the colors and shops don't hold much appeal.  I did enjoy the 4-H items and the art displays!  We have some serious talent here!  I'm amazed at the talent children have in and about this world.  It's incredible!

I haven't been to the fair in 3 years.  And as we were wandering towards the animal shelters, I remember some of the reasons why.

First of all, the last two years have been really difficult on our family and therefore, we didn't have the time to even think about when the fair was, let alone actually attend it.

Second, in 2008 (the last time I would have gone) I went with some dear friends of mine and we had a blast!  However, those friendships have fallen apart and I rarely talk to "the guys" anymore, which makes me a bit sad.  Obviously, there's a series of events that occur when I walked into the fair tonight: I thought of my old friends, then I remember how each one simply fell apart/away, and then I recall the bad fight I had with one of them this last summer which caused our friendship to be nearly completely severed.  So, it's like a trail from good to awful.

On top of that, in 2005 I had been dating a boy and his family would raise rabbits that they would then attempt to sell at the fair.  He was there most of the day for the entire weekend.  I have distinct memories of going to the fair and seeing him and his mother by the barn doors with a small cage of rabbits on the floor.  Funny thing is, I haven't seen him since 2006.  But the thought of possibly running into him tonight sent ice into my stomach.  I know it's lame and I should simply grow up.  But the thoughts of seeing him again just give me chills.  Randomly, I ran into a picture of him on FaceBook a couple months ago... I nearly died when I saw his face.  Yes, he's changed and aged (more than he should have), but his face still remains the same... and my heart stopped.  It was like staring at the scariest person on the face of this Earth... and I had dated him.  *shiver*

I don't know why, after 5 years I can't control my emotions when it comes to the thoughts of him... or for any of my exes for that matter.  I have one friend who is an exception to that rule, but my first two boyfriends in particular are the ones I have the hardest time with.  (The one I spoke about above was my first boyfriend.)  Granted, the odds of me seeing either of those two guys is like 1 in 100,000.  No joke.  Cody, as far as I know, still lives in the valley (I assume).  Chris, on the other hand, is from 100 miles away and I doubt I'll ever see him again (despite his attempt to friend me on FaceBook--now that was a rough day).  It's weird, despite Cody living in this same valley, we have never once crossed paths... yet I've run into the girl he left me for several times.  Explain that!  In fact, the day she approached me (the first time I saw her since graduating and all the drama) she apologized to me about what she did nearly 3 years previous.  I remember standing in the store thinking it was all a dream and that I couldn't possibly be awake and talking to her.  But, it was indeed real.

Then, my dad ran into Cody in a store.  At first, he didn't recognize the boy.  But as soon as it hit, my dad was ready to kill him.  I suppose that was a good thing, I haven't really decided yet.  That was about a year ago.  But I have yet to see him.  The only thing I've seen of him was his profile picture on FaceBook--which was enough to scare me to death!

I've decided that if I ever do see him again, and he sees me, I'll simply act like an "old friend" and ask what he's up to in life (partly to be polite and partly because I'm a masochist and want to know).  Can you blame me?  The last I heard (3 years ago) was that he was living with a crazy girlfriend who threatened to kill him if he ever left her (and she meant it too!)... then again, I don't know if I could trust those words, looking back on it now... This only adds to the curiosity!

I'm sorry, looking me, rambling on about exes and memories... Oh boy... I really need to go to bed.  Perhaps I shall read some Harry Potter and the world will be a much brighter place!! ^-^